Holding hands

When it comes an image of "being in a relationship", holding hands is one of the most basic and often seen. When two people are seen holding hands it is culturally understood that they are involved in each others' lives on a higher level simple friends. I remember holding hands for the first time with my wife (she was my friend then, of course) and the comforting feelings of closeness it gave. It felt like we were coming together as something more than friends. Maslow, in his hierarchy of needs, lists "Love & belonging" directly above those of basic safety. This implies that after our own physical needs and safeties are secure we begin to reach out to others and seek companionship.

I began thinking about this yesterday when I was in one of the student lounges and overheard a conversation between two young women discussing their current relationships. The first had just broken up with her boyfriend after receiving a call from "his baby's mother." The second was unsure of her relationship. She liked the guy but felt like it was hard to bring up bad news because he was "too sensitive." That part of the conversation was far more interesting as the two expressed their expectations for a partner and from themselves in a relationship.

I came across this article on Kansas State's homepage. It states that in many ways it is healthy for tweens and teens to have celebrity crushes. I particularly liked this quote from it:

"If you and your best friend swoon over a celebrity together, then it's helping you figure out where you fit with your friends and with your peers," Myers-Bowman said. "But, for example, if all your friends like Ryan Gosling and you like Sean Connery, you get to feel what it's like to be different from everyone else, and you get to process those feelings."

I'm not sure if any of the women I know didn't swoon over Sean Connery when they were teenagers. My sisters were rather partial to him in "Darby O'Gill and the Little People."

My wife and I are approaching our 7th wedding anniversary this year. If we were living in Germany and Gabriele Pauli had succeed in passing her legislature then we would be looking at "renewing our vows" in order to stay married. While we've been married we've often wondered where we would be if we hadn't made that decision. I for one feel that deciding to marry my wife was the single greatest decision I have ever made. I remember people telling us that it would be hard and I don't remember a many people telling us how good it could be. But I can say that for better or worse, poor or poorer (I work in education, there is no rich), sickness and health, and every other dichotomy imaginable I am a better and happier person because of my marriage.

My invitation: Muse on your relationships and see where your thoughts lead you.