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Thursday, March 7, 2013

The power of language

I heard this story on the news this week and was reminded of the power of words. While the article is about the gun control - sorry, correction - the gun violence prevention debate the arguments that some words have "baggage" is nothing new. Any person who has put together a survey has had to make sure that their language is neutral to the topic or be accused of being biased. Lawyers choose their words carefully both to explain as well as to expose people actions. You can even look into the mind games of dating and relationships to find that there are many ways to say the same thing, but they all mean something different.

So, how powerful is language?

The playground chant of, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" taunts language, saying that they it is harmless and weak.

However, according to Wikipedia the idea that, "the pen is mightier than the sword" has been around since the 6th century BC (see "Predecessors" in the article) and has been widely accepted as a valid statement in most situations.

Granted, Mark Twain said in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, "Words are only painted fire. The look is the fire itself."

So perhaps it is not language, but the place, time, and way that it is used. That would certainly support the argument in the article - the way something is said is as important as what is being said. We have only to look towards the great convention known as Sarcasm to validate that. It is a way to say words that makes them mean the exact opposite to what the actual words say.

And let's not forget the power of lying. This was used to great effect in WWII to mislead Nazi Germany about the location of the D-Day invasion. It is the backbone of the intelligence community (CIA, MI6, FSB, etc.) And don't forget about the word prevaricate. You are not telling an actual lie, but the intent is to mislead. My favorite was a headline from the Soviet Union. "USSR places second in international competition. US finishes second to last." Their were only two participants. We could also look at: rumor, gossip, and calumny. And don't forget propaganda, marketing, and censorship. All of these are language based attacks or controls that are used everyday by people all over the world produce a desired effect within or to someone or a group of people. Words can be very powerful.

So this leads me to a word that I've been musing over for a couple of years. It's a word I use very carefully and I think about it a lot before saying it. The word is "but". What is the significance of this word, I hear you ask. Look at how it is used both in literature and in your own language. In almost every example of the word "but" the main focus of the thought is what is said after it. That is because "but" basically said, "every thing I've said before now is insignificant." Think about it. If some said, "I love you, but..." It doesn't make a difference how much they love you, it is clearly not sufficient to overcome whatever doubt they have. Another - "You deserved to win, but...." Even the phrase, "There was no action but to run." could be said without the but simply by dropping the first phrase and saying, "I had to run." or even "I ran."

Now I am not advocating removing "but" from your language all together. Nor am I saying it does not have it's uses in the examples I've given. What I do want to point out is what it means to the person hearing it. In meeting with students for my job, I occasionally have to give someone bad news. Their grades are too low and they are being suspended. Because they failed a class they will lose their scholarship. Those kinds of things. Often times they students have gone through a very challenging time and were simply stretched too far in too many directions by events beyond their control. I have had students in tears in my office as they lay out their struggles, efforts, and failures. If I were to say, "You gave it everything you had, but the policy states..." It doesn't matter what the policy states - I am dismissing their efforts as insignificant. They weren't good enough. Whenever I find myself in these situations I always try to separate my words about their efforts from the negative consequences. "You gave it everything you had. The policy states..." Now it does matter what the policy states because I have acknowledged their past efforts, now they are prepared to move into the future.

There are plenty of times I use "but" when talking with people. It sets up contrast. It takes old known information and updates it with new relevant information. Continue to use it, but be aware of what it can mean. Like I've heard in every sexual harassment prevention training - it's not the intent of the language but the impact that is important. "But" is one of those words that can have an unknown impact.

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