Far too long

It has been far too long since I posted on here, so it is high time I did it.

This morning as I drove in, I made the conscious choice of not listening to an audio book or podcast. I even left the radio off for the majority of the drive. It was somewhat enlightening. Usually I drive in with Angel, my wife and we'll listen to the radio, commenting about the songs or go through the day's activities or what needs to happen when we get home. With Angel on her last week of maternity leave I was by myself as I drove and I found that my thoughts went in directions that they normally don't.

One of the first thoughts I had was, "What would happen if I crashed and died?" How's that for your morning commute? I really thought through the implications - my wife would be a widow, my kids without their father, and life would get really, really hard for them. My life insurance policy should help them through the worse of the financial difficulties my death would bring, but (and I'm not bragging here) I also help out a lot around the house. I enjoy being able to do things for my family - even things like dishes and laundry. My death would mean that so much more would be put on my wife and children. It didn't take long for me to be able to visualize what their lives would be like without me. I was more mindful of my speed and drove a little more carefully. I also realized that no matter how carefully I drove there was still a chance of a random accident that could cause my death. There is only so much you can do and then you just don't worry about what you can't do.

I also pondered on day light savings time. We're approaching the time change in a couple of weeks. It used to occasionally fall on my mother's birthday and she often said that an extra hour of sleep was one of the best gifts she could receive. There are people that want to do away with day light savings time and their reasons are not baseless. I'm one of those people who don't tend to have a problem adjusting to the time change. There are times, like this morning, when I enjoy being out in the pre-dawn light and I think that it's a pity to lose that, but given another month and I'm back to driving in pre-dawn light. My sister, Muscles, lived in Arizona for several years and they don't observe DST, so I always had to double check what time it was there. Either way, I can take or leave DST, so well see what people who care about it end up doing.

There were other thoughts and feelings that I went through on the drive in, but I'll leave those for another time. Life has brought a lot of changes and my family is about to experience another with my wife returning to work and the kids to the daycare provider. I really wish we didn't need for our children to be watched by someone else. And that too is a topic for another day.

Before you die

A coworker pointed me towards the BBC's top 100 books you need read before you die (2014) list where I had read just over a quarter of them (26). It got me thinking about what makes a book (or anything really) eligible to get on that list. A Bucket List is a list of things you would like to do before you die, but there are lists out there that other people built that say what everyone should do/read/watch/eat pre-death. I don't really have an issue with others writing those lists. I'm simply curious what their criteria is. When I put the question to my wife, "What kinds of books would you put on a 'must read' list?" she responded, "What ever the person needs." It wasn't the answer I was looking for but it demonstrates her pragmatic view on live as opposed to my more ideological one.

I'll be honest, with her rather simple but pertinent answer it makes it hard to compile my own list of must read/do/eats. Can I know what I should do if I don't know what I will need to do? Probably not. With that in mind I present: not my list of things you should do/read/eat, nor my own bucket list of what I would like to do/read/eat, but my Things I'm glad that I've done/read/eaten.

(In no particular order, but with number 1 being unquestionably the most significant)

1 - Married my wife. Easily the best thing I've ever done. Marrying her changed me in ways I never thought it would. It's made me want to be a better person. I love her deeply and she makes me deliriously happy.

2 - Lived (and still am living) as a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. Marx called religion the opiate of the masses, but even if I didn't known of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Christ I don't see any problems with the way my life has gone by living the it. I receive peace, joy, and comfort from my beliefs. I avoid lots of problems by obeying by religion's tenants. I do not regret anything I have not been able to do because of my faith and I treasure what I've done and learned.

In all honestly most of the the life changing, significant events in my life have come from those two things. These include:

* Servicing a religious service mission to SW Russian (Rostov-na-Donu, Volgagrad, Novocherkassk, Krasnodar)

* Having children

* Reading the Bible, Book of Mormon, and other religious texts

* participating in service opportunities


3 - Reading:
* Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
* 1984 by George Orwell
* Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William Shirer
* The Allience by Gerald Lund
* Mere Christianity and The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis


4 - Visited:
* New York
* Boston
* Mamev Kurgan and the Panaramic Museum (Volgagrad, Russia)
* Red Square (Moscow Russia)
* Trakai Castle (Lithuania)


5 - Learned to rock climb. Talk about discovering a whole new world.

6 - Learned Russian. It taught me about language in general, introduced me to a different culture, and gave me an appreciation of differences.

7 - Earned my Bachelor's degree. My education helped define how I look at the world and helped me learn more about myself and others.

There are many more things that I am glad that I did/read/ate, but these are the big ones. As I thought about these it did occur to me that there is one thing that I recommend people do before they die - Live.

What is the value of time?

I apologize for a last blog this week. It's been a little busy and I was unable to really decide upon and topic and get it researched as much as I like. I've got one on the works about the importance of irrigation and am still working on the evolution of the music industry. Unfortunately neither one of those is ready. I also need to write a book review for my other blog, Grandfather's Wish. I just finished Time of the Twins, the first in the Dragon Lance Legends by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. (sign) So much I'd like to do and I just need to find the time.

Time is an interesting thing though. There are 168 hours in a week. The average human is said to need 8 hours of sleep a night (even though that's not entirely true), so that's 56 hours for sleep. "The typical" work week is 40 hours a week, but often that's 8 hours of work with an hour lunch  so lets call it 45 hours. That leaves 67 hours for everything else. The average commute in the US is 25.4 minutes, with drastic changes based on region, so subtract 5 more hours (on average). Eating and drinking can be upwards of 67 minutes a day, not including when we are multitasking with food. So there goes another 7+ hours a week But wait, that doesn't take preparing food - which takes another 33 minutes at day on average (p. 27), and don't forget shopping. Take down another 5 hours we'll call it. The average bath/shower time is about 65 hours a year, so call it and hour + a week. And don't forget dressing, and all those other little things that just add up. It's not uncommon for people to get to the end of the day and ask, "Where did time go?" Why, into the past of course!

Time truly is precious. I got this quote from Board of Wisdom.com, but have seen it before elsewhere. I've changed it from the source to how I remember seeing it - cause I like it better.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of  ONE Day, ask a hourly wage worker with a family to feed.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a  person who just missed their flight.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of One MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

My mother encouraged me watch a lecture given by Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. He gave a lecture on time management and started it by showing a picture of the pancreatic cancer that was killing him as he stood there before the audience. I now encourage others to watch it if they are interested in learning about time management. Obviously I need to work on it myself.

Randy is also known for giving another lecture, titiled "the Last Lecture." I recommend that one as well.

Oh, and case you were wondering: time to turn an intended apology into a decent blog post on time management - 25 minutes.

What is home?

On the way home from work, I picked my daughter up and she asked, "Daddy, where are we going?"

"Home." I said.

"Daddy, why do we go home every day?"

She is turning five this month, so perhaps her question could have been brushed off as simply one of the many that children her age ask, but it got me thinking. Or perhaps I should say, "musing."

For me, home is where we choose to live and spend our time. It is the place where we can learn and grow without the care of what others may do or say about us. It is where we "dance like no one is watching." Home is where we are safe from others' thoughts, judgments, criticisms, and words. Heaven willing, it is where we can be safe from others actions. Home is where we can be ourselves and where we have control over our surroundings. Home is where there are loved ones who reciprocate our love and who help us to be better. For me, it is in a very real way, heaven on earth.

That is not to say that it exists in a perfect state, but it feels perfect to us. I hurt for those that come from "broken homes," or that are "homeless" in any sense of the word. I tried my best to explain to my daughter all of the things above.

She replied, "I don't like to go home everyday, because it's boring."

Well, you can't win them all.