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Thursday, October 16, 2014

Far too long

It has been far too long since I posted on here, so it is high time I did it.

This morning as I drove in, I made the conscious choice of not listening to an audio book or podcast. I even left the radio off for the majority of the drive. It was somewhat enlightening. Usually I drive in with Angel, my wife and we'll listen to the radio, commenting about the songs or go through the day's activities or what needs to happen when we get home. With Angel on her last week of maternity leave I was by myself as I drove and I found that my thoughts went in directions that they normally don't.

One of the first thoughts I had was, "What would happen if I crashed and died?" How's that for your morning commute? I really thought through the implications - my wife would be a widow, my kids without their father, and life would get really, really hard for them. My life insurance policy should help them through the worse of the financial difficulties my death would bring, but (and I'm not bragging here) I also help out a lot around the house. I enjoy being able to do things for my family - even things like dishes and laundry. My death would mean that so much more would be put on my wife and children. It didn't take long for me to be able to visualize what their lives would be like without me. I was more mindful of my speed and drove a little more carefully. I also realized that no matter how carefully I drove there was still a chance of a random accident that could cause my death. There is only so much you can do and then you just don't worry about what you can't do.

I also pondered on day light savings time. We're approaching the time change in a couple of weeks. It used to occasionally fall on my mother's birthday and she often said that an extra hour of sleep was one of the best gifts she could receive. There are people that want to do away with day light savings time and their reasons are not baseless. I'm one of those people who don't tend to have a problem adjusting to the time change. There are times, like this morning, when I enjoy being out in the pre-dawn light and I think that it's a pity to lose that, but given another month and I'm back to driving in pre-dawn light. My sister, Muscles, lived in Arizona for several years and they don't observe DST, so I always had to double check what time it was there. Either way, I can take or leave DST, so well see what people who care about it end up doing.

There were other thoughts and feelings that I went through on the drive in, but I'll leave those for another time. Life has brought a lot of changes and my family is about to experience another with my wife returning to work and the kids to the daycare provider. I really wish we didn't need for our children to be watched by someone else. And that too is a topic for another day.

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