Fanboys and the arguments they make

I was thinking about doing a Star Wars vs. Star Trek post, but then I realized just how crazy that would be.

The battle between the two has been the basis for nerd fan-boys to fight for years. Being part of the silent majority who enjoys both I find such debates to be entertaining until they get to the awkward phase when you realize just home much the other person has invested in their franchise being "the best." When you think about the energy that they could have put into other things that they instead poured into proving that the USS Enterprise could take out the SSD Executor, it gets kind of scary. It reminds me of a conversation with a friend. I had just finished the campaign mode of a video game and mentioned it to him. He proceeded to tell me that he had all of the in game extras. "I have the characters, the music, the artwork..." My first thought was, "I have a house. I have a wife. I have a kid. I have a career. I have a life." There are some truly passionate people out there. I reminds me of my own obsession (albeit a known obsession that I am striving to moderate - see last week's post). When somebody disagrees with us on something that we feel passionate about it feels "like someone ripped out your heart and put it in a blender." When it comes to popular media I try to keep an open mind. I know what I like and what I don't, and I'm generally open to criticisms against it. I'm sure Angel will let me know how wrong my assessment of myself is.

Many have heard the term "fanboy" in relation to someone who feels very strongly about something and doesn't appear to be capable of considering ideas, opinions, jokes, or anything else contrary to their passion. A perfect example of this from the news - "Angry Justin Bieber fans vandalize Esperanza Spalding's Wikipedia page." Not to mention any number of links from the Google search page linked to in the first sentence. It isn't enough for a fanboy's obsession to be good, it must be the Best Thing Ever(!!) and anyone who says otherwise doesn't know anything, isn't a true beliber (sorry) believer), or isn't cool. While I wouldn't say that hipsters are inherently fanboys (of non-mainstream products) they can look like them sometimes. While technology (Apple, iPhone vs. Android, Play Station vs. Xbox vs. Nintendo), popular media (aforementioned Beliebers and Star Wars vs. Star Trek), and even original source (ex books) vs. new version (ex movies) tend to be the big players, there is another area that breeds fanboys. (wait for it......)

Politics. (Boom! did he just go there?! Yes he did!)

I am not going anywhere into politics. I will not discuss my political views in this post - just that people tend to have strong opinions about politics that can turn them into fanboys. In any event, I've found an interesting checklist that can help you understand the way that most fanboys tend to argue and debate. The originator is Larry Correia, a particular favorite author of mine, who has very (very, very, very) strong political views. And has gotten tired of the way that many debate against him - or rather the way they don't debate but just talk smack. I am not claiming that Larry is a fanboy for two reasons: I've found there to be logic behind his statements and second he points out, "If your tactics are to shut down debate, you are an idiot. It should never be to shut down or scare off, but to WIN." Notice, that I did not say that all fanboys argue this way, or that fanboys argue this way all the time. I also did not say that not being a fanboy makes you nice. Larry is very blunt, not soft spoken, and can be very insulting when he puts his mind to it. His language can be extreme - you've been warned. I will say that his checklist has proven quite accurate for fanatics of all kinds. Check it out and the next time you find yourself talking to someone and you notice the person has just checked off one of Larry's boxes - know that you're dealing with a fanboy.

And make sure you don't check off any boxes yourself.

Misconceptions: Doing verses Knowing

I had an interesting conversation with Angel last night that really got me thinking. We often think about the different families we come from. Her parents and grandparents had minimal formal educational opportunities while mine had undergraduate and graduate degrees. Her family worked farms, machine shops, and supply chain while mine taught, did engineering, and worked in finance. Her family built their house, fixes their cars, and raised cows. Mine - didn't, doesn't, and can't. These differences are just a small part of who they individually and don't get in the way of them enjoying each other's company. I love my in-laws and Angel has told me that my parents are some of her favorite people.

The conversation got me thinking about why I am driven to know things, and to be known as a person who knows things. I always hate to acknowledge how egotistical I can be. It literally makes me wince when I think about it. Unfortunately it's true though. Just ask my wife. One of her better qualities is the ability to deflate my ego when it needs it. Regardless of periodic egocentric tendencies I have placed some measure of my self worth in being known as a person who knows stuff. I'm sure there are some positives to that, but I can't think of any right now. One giant negative is that when I remember something wrong, or am just flat out wrong about something I tend to take it rather personally. Or as one person put it I "act like someone has torn my heart out and put it in a blender." I really try not to be such a martyr, but few people understand what they look like through the eyes of others. Maybe we just need to get shot with a point of view gun (or at least those of us that are male).

I think that this emphasis that I've placed on knowing things comes from a misconception of knowing verses doing. My father went to work in a cubical, crunching numbers, building spreadsheets, and manipulating percentages (in a good way). There was very little visual representation of his efforts. To me, it must have appeared that he worked by knowing things, insubstantial things. He went to school so he could know things so he could work at knowing things. To my muddled brain "doing" something meant you had a finished product that could be used, something that you could see and manipulate to accomplish something else. "Knowing" and "doing" were two sides of a scale in my mind. Remember, that young minds tend to revolve around dualism, the idea that there is a right a wrong approach to everything - and nothing in between. One of my least favorite expressions "those that can, do; those that can't, teach." is a prime example of this dualistic thinking. As if knowing and doing are two very different things when really they are simply different manifestations of the same catalyst - productivity.

My obsession with knowing things, I believe, stems from this misconception of knowing and doing being exclusive of each other. I did not know how to "do" much. My father knows his way around a shop, can identify basic problems with a car, and has built some impressive items for our home - mostly utilitarian in design. However, because he made his living "knowing" things and because I couldn't "do" anything (ask my dad about digging window wells for him one summer) I put more emphasis on "knowing." My degree is in history, an area that is infamous for it's focus on "knowing" and not "doing." I tend to remember rather random and often useless facts and trivia. And, as pointed out, I tend to take it personally when people say I'm wrong about something that I feel that I "know" well. Not exactly a well balanced psyche if you think about it.

There is lots that I'm not talking about. In depth discussion on the similarities of knowing and doing. How I've learned to "do" many different things. The respect that I have for those that "do" (enormous!). What people in "knowing" jobs actually do. But I'm still coming to grips with reality of my skewed, subconscious preconceptions. However my brain decided that there was a bigger difference between knowing an doing I've now have to adjust my thinking accordingly. I will probably return to this topic again.

Musings on marriage

With Valentine's Day coming tomorrow it seemed fitting to express my musings on a topic that I've had on my brain for a little while. Via Facebook, I've been introduced to Matt Walsh and his blog. While I've ready read a small of his posts, I find that I agree with what I read. I recently read two of his posts that focused on marriage. The first was a response to an anthropology professor's statement that monogamy is unnatural. The second was a confession that is something that I can agree with. I encourage people to read both of them. While I may reference either of these articles, the purpose of my musings today is simply to express my own feelings on marriage and why I think it is important.

A little background. My wife, Angel, and I have been married a few days over seven and half years as of this posting. Our courtship was literally on and off for about six months before we became engaged, marrying four months later. She was not my first fiancee. A year before I had met Angel I had been engaged to a long time girl friend from high school. After getting engaged we both realized that neither one of us was really happy about it and mutually broke it off. By the time I met Angel I had a pretty decent idea of what I as looking for in a wife after taking many different young women on dates. We currently have two kids with a third on the way. I know that my experience is pretty stereotypical for my current residence and atypical for most of the the rest of the world outside of Utah, USA.

Perhaps the best way to start this topic is to give the reasons why I married. I'm not talking about the reasons I married my wife, but rather the reasons why I sought and desired marriage. There are many people who do everything but marry. Cohabitation, self imposed bachelor / bachelorette  hood, focusing on your career, are all alternatives to marriage that we see in the media and real life. So why did I marry?

First, there was the expectation. I am in full agreement with the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints in their statement The Family: a proclamation to the world, that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's Plan for the eternal destiny of His children." (Sept 23 / 1995). To understand the strength of this statement understand that the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints believes that the highest level of salvation is reserved for families - men, women, and children.

In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; and if he does not, he cannot obtain it. He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase. (Doctrine and Covenants 131:1-4)

I'm not going to get into the theology of that for the sake of time and space, but the understanding is that marriage is key to the great plan of our Heavenly Father. As a faithful and believing member of the Church Jesus Christ of latter-day saints, this is a very, very compelling reason to seek a companion to spend my life and eternity with. Our church receives fire for young marriages with short engagements. Some critics claim that it's because we believe in abstaining from sexual activity prior to marriage. Since we've been "sexually repressed" we marry young in order to fulfill those basic needs. I'm not discounting that hypothesis, but I think it's weak in the light of our theology. Marriage is nothing to rush into and nothing to put off. Some may claim that such a doctrine may seem unfair, chauvinistic, or even cruel seeing how there are millions of people who don't marry or can't marry. In answer to that, we believe that any commandment that God gives has a way for it to be fulfilled. God is just and everyone will have an opportunity to receive the highest level of salvation.

Second reason why I married, I wanted someone to share life with. Psychologists, and philosophers led by Aristotle claim "Man is by nature a social animal". We often crave society. Especially extroverts like me. This is not to say that we never want to be alone. I rather enjoy my evenings when everybody else is asleep and I can do housework, read, play the piano, or play a computer game by myself. But when I sought marriage it was to be able to have someone that would be a part of my life. I wanted someone I could serve and be served by (in the giving love way, not the butler way). I wanted someone I could talk to about anything, play games with, explore new things with. I've been to a few movies by myself and they aren't as fun. I think life is similar. Perhaps it was a movie that said it best, we want a witness to our lives.

In thinking of additional reasons, most of them have to do with my wife specifically. She was a person who made me happy, that inspired me to be better without actually trying to. I didn't want her to get away.

After we got engaged we received a torrent of advice (per the norm) and even some criticism ("Too young, too early, good luck." - an actual card we received for our wedding). There was a lot of advice to help us "through the hard times." It occurred to us that a decent amount of the attention on marriage was on the negative aspects of it. We decided that we would do our best to avoid that and encourage newlyweds. Whenever I hear of an upcoming wedding I tell the couple, "Congratulations! Marriage was the best decision I ever made." I mean that sincerely and honestly. We've worked hard on our marriage - it hasn't always been easy - but it has been worth it. We take great pride in the fact that on our seventh anniversary and again four months after that we were asked how long we had been married. We smiled and replied, "7 years and we have two kids." It's good to be taken for newlyweds every now and then.

What is real

Our minds are amazing at what they do. However, there are some things that can throw it off. As we get older we become susceptible to dementia or senility. We can develop any number of mental illnesses, including bipolar, paranoia, or other conditions that warp perception. But even without our brains breaking down we can be fooled into perceiving things that that are not there. This can be due to stress, strain, tiredness or some such physical ailment that reaches in to effect our wold.

It used to be thought that the more someone watched violence in their media the more violent they would be. This is not the case. It is now under stood that the more media we consume the more we see it as reality. Which begs the question, if the media is to present the facts is it a conflict of interests that their very media coverage will impact the watchers to believe that there are such events are the norm.